Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I will survive...

There are times when I feel its all true
there are times when I feel its all untrue
What is my life all about?
O! how I wish I knew...

I've been living alone in my own world
dreaming of a special someone
yearning for him all the while
this is something I cannot deny

There are no chains yet I feel bound
in some unknown binds that hold me tight
I tread my melancholic life as such
as the way, the day paves for the night

I see the road but it has no end
I see a boat but it has no anchor
So I plunge head on into the seas
to make sense of my destiny

Amongst the waves is where I will now live
Amongst the waves is where I shall die
I need to befriend the storms to survive
the highs and lows of my life!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I feel surrendered, I feel lost

Our love when one was blissful and strong
how then did our relation, go so wrong?
my mind totters as I think of the past
I feel surrendered, I feel lost!

I am engulfed in sheer distress
as days without you seem endless
my heart bleeds as I think of the past
I feel surrendered, I feel lost!

My fate left on me such a deep mark
that I am now scared of the violent dark
my eyes cry as I think of the past
I feel surrendered, I feel lost!

A lot of pain with a lot of sigh
are all that's left, this ain't a lie
my soul dreads as I think of the past
I feel surrendered, I feel lost!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009


As a tear drops from my eye
I feel the angiush deep inside
as it surges it harkens back in time 
over the carefree moments, now lost
as a strange silence breaks my thoughts
abstract collages clutter my mind
I feel trapped within my own confines
in the reflections of darkness, I repine
I can't stop crying; I let them flow
for my grief stricken heart is hollow
I know something within me has died
that I am feeling empty, I can't hide
I can't count my wounds; they are too many
I need solace but can't find any!!

I don't know what to do; I can't continue;
I don't wanna live; I wish I could die
all I feel is hurt, all I sense is pain
all that's left are my tears that rain!!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Without him...

Life seemed blissful
with my new found love
I thought at last I'd my anchor
n' now I would be safe ashore
walking hand in hand
matching step to step
in the warmth of his love I lived
on his shoulders I careened
I drifted to a new world order
with rosy dreams in splendor
I thought it was all true
that there was life without its rues
till reality jolted me on the inside
when one fine day he left my side
n’ walked away never looking back
without even telling me if he'll comeback!!

I am now feeling empty within
as he has taken my heart n' soul akin
the void he has left cannot be filled
I don’t know now if I will live...

Lost Will

When he said he did not love me anymore
It broke my heart, I could take it no more
He shattered my feelings and left me ashen
He still doesn't know what all he has done

I've lost my will, I've lost my might
I am standing still, I cannot fight!

I realise, all that he said were blatant lies
As tears continuously stream down from my eyes
Yet I hold all of our moments together so tight
As the darkness surrounding me offers no respite

I've lost my will, I've lost my might
I am standing still, I cannot fight!

Embracing solitude when depraved of love
I looked upward towards the sky above
I wondered who's the master controlling my strings?
why life has robbed me off my little things?

I've lost my will, I've lost my might
I am standing still, I cannot fight!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Frozen Love

You! the man of my life
redeemer of my strife
a blessing from above
the soul whom I loved
has now everything destroyed
leaving emptiness and a void

I want to scream and shout
but my words just won't come out
the allegation and accusation
expressed your frustration
the torturous words, hurt
causing tears, that I avert

I thought we were meant for each other
spending the rest of our lives together
but this was not how 'twas meant to be
separate paths were written in our destiny
our footprints, over time will be erased
just like how our memories would fade

we must walk alone now in silence
mulling over our frozen love in obeisance!

Friday, September 11, 2009

Life is calling...

I love the cool breeze
against the silent sea
it makes me feel
as if I am free
my spirits are high
under the blue sky
I do not feel tied down
by the worldly sighs
for once my mind
is not going astray
I feel my troubles
will soon be washed away
I hear my inner voice clear
it's no longer a whisper
my thoughts seem sound
with no conflicts around
I feel content as can be
so blissful is the serenity
this freedom is what
I sought all along
this is the place
to where I belong
I have to set pace
I must not slow down
for my soul is beckoning
n' my Life is calling...

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


I don't know for how long
has darkness surrounded me
time has flown so fast n' now
it all seems like eternity
I look at the waters of the stream
but find no reflection of the real me
demons unleashed; haunt n' tease
as fears move with a lot of ease
trials keep pouring; there's no stopping
they seem to be testing me endlessly
my head is spinning round n' round
my mind is chaotic with all the sounds
at every crossroad, I lose my way
O! will this ever end some day?

I close my eyes n' I see the gleam
a rainbow of lights or so it seems
as life appears on a new canvas
the splendid colors make me anxious
I enjoy every moment I live here
with peace n' bliss that endear
I yearn for this to be true n' real
but, alas! it's my dream n' it's surreal!

Friday, September 4, 2009

Never at ease

My life's been an expanse of darkness
hurt and agony flowing in boundless
a rampant world, plagued with chaos 
beseeched with voices lacking ethos

as continuing strife, beckoned my life
the vast blackness kept growing inside
as I grew, I lost out on my spark
my will kept fading into the dark

my trapped mind, nobody could see
O! how much I wanted to set it free
I was held up there with nowhere to go
death of a loved one, came as a blow

the innocence, enslaved n' slained
so deeply embedded has been the pain
the fear that lurked deep within
contrived n' usurped my love-in

the uneasiness that set within me
locked my essence for eternity
as the turbulence within refused to cease
I realised I have never been at ease!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Love fell apart...

I did not leave love,
'twas love that left me!

I thought our love was strong
how then did everythin' go so wrong?
our love seemed blithe n' all was right
but as it grew bandy, it shattered me
it left me alone with sorrow n' pain
O! how could our love be so vain

I did not leave love,
'twas love that left me!

you were mine n' meant to stay
why then my love, did you go away?
with you, you took away our dreams
our world, our joy n' all the gleams
the anger, the despair n' the darkness
tears flow down in streams now endless

I did not leave love,
'twas love that left me!

it's hurting a lot within
but I will not let it show
how much I loved him 
he will never ever know
for when he did depart
our love fell apart

I did not leave love, 
'twas love that broke my heart!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Endless Journey

I heard the voice inside that said ~
"You'll seek what you want in the end"
I thought I then knew what I had to do
So I started traversing on paths anew
on the roads that were less taken
not meant for the crest-fallen
I continued on my stride
even when the winds pried
keepin' my spirits alive
o'er the raging tide
reprising the only voice
that I heard inside
I strode deeper and deeper
determined to reach sooner
I dabbled over my choices
aimed at a central quest
to seek the end n' define the "I"
to sieve the truth from the lie
I continued to wander across the lands
thru' the mystifying n' changing sands
I did this for many many years
letting my hope cast away my fears
but at the twists n' turns of the alley
serendipity paved way for melancholy
as I reached the peak of my journey
my virtues got chained
I saw that the mysteries of nature
were rife with rules insane
the voice that I heard initially
lost clarity n' was strained
at last I realised that all that I sought
'twas all only in my thoughts
for the journey had no end
as there was no end to the road
my pursuit was a tryst
as the end did not exist!!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009


she has always been alone
trapped in the dark abyss
unwanted, rebuked n' abused
with loneliness as her only ally
she has known it now for long
that solitude is her only rescue
from all her dreaded despair
that tears are her only comfort
through the dark murky nights
that the discerned road to death
is the only solace to her life
where inveigled love seemed
like a blessing in disguise
but turned out to be a curse
devouring the translucent joys
seasons transformed and faded
the decisions she had taken then
in the myriad appeared jaded
when fear kept tightening its grip
and choking her on her breath
she strived and struggled to rise
but as the descent gained space
she lost the smile from her face
the emotions which she thought
that would forever last
receded gradually into her past
and the true image of her soul
got swallowed as a whole
and forever she remained
trapped in the blackhole

Friday, August 14, 2009

I am nothing without you…

My heart beats only for you
My body aches to be one with you
My soul looks around to seek you
I feel I am nothing without you...

As tears steadily flow from my eyes
the moistness in my cheeks begin to dry
I long to rest on your chest but it can't be
for we are separated by miles of sea

When you are not around, my heart goes sinking
for you are the only one that I think about 
When you are not around, I feel like dying
for you are the only one, I truly love

Without you, the world means nothing to me
it’s only you who can keep alive my soul
my heart's with you, come, embrace me my love -
for I am nothing without you...

Thursday, August 6, 2009

I Love You

Our relation is of a special kind
transcending between space and time
where every moment I am thinking of you
wanting to hear you, feel you, see you
my body and my heart belong to you
you are my soulmate, I Love You!

If not for you, I would've never known
what true love really meant
I’d never've felt this inner peace
I couldn’t have been so content
your presence brightens my day
come what may, I need you in every way!

You make me feel blissful and complete
in your company, I do not resist
you accept me the way I'm, you let me be
I give myself unto you willingly
with you all my dreams have come true
you are my special someone, I Love You!

Monday, July 27, 2009

A Special One...

June' 09 -
A month back from today ...
I found a special SOMEONE
or maybe he found me
or was it fate ordained, chance or destiny?
pre-destination that may be called in any name
it feels like an act destined
at time's beginning
an unseen to be seen
when it was meant to be

It’s something I'll never know
it doesn’t matter now -
for the bond has been
nurtured to be very strong

So much of him I like & adore
his gentle expression 
sealed with warmth
his witty humor n' impressive intellect
cast in a honest face
and an ever-ready smile 
flashed through concerned eyes

Our relation is special to me in so many ways
that it cannot be so easily defined
but know that -
it means the WORLD to me
to have known and bonded with him
incised with hope & true care
counting the days and hours we spend together
cherishing them in memory to live for ever...

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Soul Redeemer

The world looked at me through shattered glass
piercing at my every body part
steadily hurting but never quite knowing
that the pain within me was growing
everything moved and continued to move
everthing transformed and continued to transform
the entire surrounding was caving in on me
with every passing moment, rising my agony
my soul though captured, yearned to set free
the mere thought of which seemed blasphemy
the light that I saw was from the dead stars
the new born ones were miles apart
such was the paradox of my life
that my fractured soul sought to know
what was it that it had done
for not finding love in abandon

To each one is obliged a soulmate I was told
and so he came across as the restorer of my soul
he healed my heart and set it free
he muted the forces that were oppresssing me
he brought in with him an oppurtune for my rebirth
I sought solace in him; he gave me back my earth

My light, love, inspiration
with you, my soul has been redeemed
I am no longer simply existing
at long last, I have started living!!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

feeling low

my head's spinning around 
with a whirlwind of memories
my spirits seem to have sunken down
devoid n' deplete of all energies
I want these moments to be lost in time
like the tears in the rain
O! how I wish I could experience peace
without embracing the pains
I want to escape from this abyss
but I don't know where to go
I want to tide over these emotions
but I don't know what to do
I am feeling low is all I know
my heart is feeling blue!

Friday, July 10, 2009

You hurt me...

I thought we were bonded in love,
on the very premise of trust,
but I know now ~
it wasn't the same for you
and so my heart you hurt !

you promised me you would care,
you said you wouldn't hurt ever,
n' I took it all as gospel ~
but my life you turned it hell !

when you said you had
not yet made up ya mind
were all the true love
claims of yours asinine?

behind my back with my friend
you tried to connive
and made me look like a fool
was I a real dumb lass to confide
n' share it all with you?

your tacit denial of our relation ~
broke my heart and shattered my dreams,
they took me back to the world I bequeathed,
a place filled with my tears, fears and screams !

I looked back to see if I'd faltered,
or done something to seed ya thoughts,
I found out I had done nothing as such
n' it was ya wile that got us to lurch !

do you know that here I am crying
shedding tear drops for someone like you?
for all your promises of not hurting me
remain baseless and untrue !

I know that you'll never change,
I am feeling trapped within a maze,
I don't know if I can take
it all in my stride..??
for truth remains unscathed ~
that you have hurt me and my pride..!!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Never Alone!

I read your thoughts 
in the morn when I first awake
I feel you are with me
in every step that I take

I miss you not being around
from the first breath that I took
but since you stepped in my life
for love I never had to look

The close bond that we have shared
from our first encounter with each other
will take us through the miles
in our journey together

Although we are spread apart
we look at the same sky above
none amidst us is ever alone
we are wrapped as one in our love

Friday, July 3, 2009

You are "The One"

Fate, finally has been kind
after such a long time
as it blessed me with thine
n' destined you for me
I know YOU are "The One"
yes, my love, you are mine!

I have always needed you
n' now, that I have you by my side
do hold my hand n' lead me away
into your world, abode your place
n' chase away my fears n' doubts
as you wipe the tears off my face

I need you to take me off my past
n' heal my shattered soul n' heart
after all the trials that I have had
I hope together, we remain glad
God, sent you as my angel from above
I promise, I shall once again learn to love

I can feel my heart open again
I know it's opening only for you
just come in, and love me lots
that's all I want you to do
as my mind wonders n' heart beats
I realize, I'm nothing without you

you are the one who makes me whole
you have deeply touched my soul
I've made you, now, my reason to live
All of myself, to you, I give
you are my world, you are my heart
now, I cannot live, with you apart!

Lost Alone

Lost is my soul
alone am I 
in the shadowless 
dark within myself
surrounded by fears
I scream I yell
but I hear no sound
I shed no tears
I try to take a step
but find no path
its' a bottomless pit
on which I seem 
to have embarked
the only possessor 
of my arcane lore
I feel to my life
there is nothing more
so lost alone am I 
that lonely is my soul
my hearts' a void
a rubble of 
mirthless beats 
that keep me alive 
even when 
I'm dead meat

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


She was clouded in the ambivalence of the unknowns
She ran from watchful eyes n' got trapped in the shadows
She struggled to find tears when she wanted to cry
She was filled with tropes of emptiness that set her dry
Till love found her when fading hope shattered her will
And -
She rose like a phoenix from her own ash fill
She faced life's trials, scathed yet strong
She led through the darkest nights, awaiting the dawn
She searched for transcendence in all her quests
She mused over her past and her vacant pursuits

The twilight in her life blossomed her spark
As it eclipsed the cusp of light and dark
She set herself free from the captivity of her past
With her new found freedom, she found out what she'd lost 

Embalmed with love, enthralled in mystic bliss
She glowed as she sang her own twilight twist!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


I look into 
my reflection
n' what do I see
a moving soul
caught in
festered life
chaste innocence
trapped in a
labyrinth mind
of strewn emotions
n' sodden eyes
that reflect pain

I look at her again
n' all I see
is a damsel in distress
calling out for help
to be freed from
captivity of 
her traumatic past
to be the one 
that she wants to be
the real child-woman
that she is

I know by now
that what I see
is not an illusion 
it is me
yet, it can't be true
but it is
n' there is 
no escape
for it is
the reflection 
of my face

Monday, June 8, 2009

Stay Afloat! Stay Ashore!

when the ripples come alive with each stroke n' wonder
how in the yonder, the sea n' sky embrace each other
when the soft hues of sunset, replenished by night
uphold the pristine waxing n' waning moonlight
when the only source of light away, shimmers
illuminating everything as it saunters
Stay afloat! Stay ashore!
when shadowless waters, brim with froth
adrift as a soul in peril n' appear lost
when dark cloudy storms bellow, with no escape
stumbling through waves in a shrouded haze
when rustling breeze bounce over the streams
n'then disappear like a silent dream
Stay afloat! Stay ashore!

if you don't brave the storm, don't tackle it by horn
you won't survive the tide, you will be gone
so ride the waves, take the plunge
for life's a flow n' its true
hang in there, be it high or low,
for this is what you got to do
Stay afloat! Stay ashore!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Dark Night

not just at the dawn of dusk
when sunlight alludes us
do we come across the dark night

every moment is a dark night
each day is a dark night
we got to endure the dark night
n' move forward

in the helm of the lows
when fear envelops the mind
we must not cry in the dark night

every moment is a dark night
each day is a dark night
we got to endure the dark night
n' not sigh inward

baskin' in the moonlight
seekin' company in thy shadow
we must look out for signs in the dark night

every moment is a dark night
each day is a dark night
we got to endure the dark night
n' not let go off will

oblivious to what's in anvil
armed with hope as the shield
we must have faith in the dark night

every moment is a dark night
each day is a dark night
we got to endure the dark night
n' not stand still

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


all that I
believed in
was but a dream
a carnival
a fanfare
or so it seemed

I wanted
to capture
all that was
in my vision
I thought I could
but 'twas my illusion

the further I went
the farther it got
was it a horizon
or a mirage
that which
I sought

I blinked my eyes
dream was gone
the mask torn
reality dawned
even before
my thought formed

Thursday, May 14, 2009


She traveled 
far and wide
a sole wanderer
in quest of peace
across oceans, plateau
n' the jaded forests
crossin' deserts, planes
n' the mired valleys
She traveled 
far and wide
a sole wanderer
in search of love
the obscured sky above
the moonlit galaxy
besprinkled with stars
guiding her as a lighthouse

She traveled 
far and wide
a sole wanderer
in pursuit of answers
through unknown paths
where no man had tread
keeping her will alive 
in her sparkling eyes

Unfazed by the outcome of ~
her quest, search n' pursuit
bewildered by the realities
of the vagaries of life
imbuing the realms
like a wise sojourner
She traveled 
far and wide
a sole wanderer!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Pondering Moments!

Why does it feel like -
Nature is telling
a story that's known!

Events shaping memories
as the journey unfolds
Paths laden with stumbling blocks
that the intellectual mind unlocks

Why does it feel like -
the winds are singing
the song that's lore!

E'en in the cacophony of sound
Is an eerie calmness that's still!
that soothes the pristine soul
aligning the conflicts by the shore

Why does it feel like -
Moments of our life
are borrowed from time

Every moment in quest
Is every moment that's gone
Every moment that passes
Leaves an imprint of the lorn

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Bridge Across Forever

As I kept walking ~
through the tunnel of life
I thought it would turnout
to be a blissful sojourn

I chased the wind
to catch the rainbow
I sprayed the colors
to paint the meadows

as I stumbled on blocks
and meandered my way
the cracks began to show
and paths grew astray

like pomeron trajectory
my footprints imagery lay
in the canvas of my mind
the only color was dark gray

I am hurt, I am broken
Yet I have ~
a will that's unshaken
I move towards the light
that cuts through the dark
at the end of the tunnel
that's long and stark

I know there is ~
a conduit out there
arching towards the sky
built by the HANDS above
pillared by pristine love
tunneling the bridge
across the dark forever!!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


quiet yet unquiet was how it began
n' then the turbulence took over my mind
I felt restrained within my own confines
unable to think, unable to move
I stood rooted at ground zero
with the shackles of loneliness
caving in on me, o! how much -
I longed for a glimpse of mirage
but I kept falling in the menacing dark
'twas like a free fall from mind to heart
with nothing to say or hear about
unrequited love anguishing my soul
tears contriving to trap my mind
fetters of fear making me cold
with pain so devastatingly intense
in the frame of a tacitly recluse soul
reprising the footprint impressions
clamoring over the times bygone
wanting to embrace the eternal flame
reprieving till then in solitude realm!!

Friday, March 6, 2009

Somebody's Me!

Somebody is lonely
Somebody in deep sea
Somebody wants to keep every fear at bay!

Somebody can see
Somebody hears me
Somebody feels me every single day!

That Somebody's Me;
That Somebody's Me!!

Somebody is out there

Somebody in despair
Somebody needs one to care in every way!

Somebody is forthright
Somebody sees light
Sombody frees the soul into a colorful ray!

That Somebody's Me;
That Somebody's Me!!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

An Unquiet Mind

An unquiet mind
is of the salient kind
trapped in
mania n' asinine
ballistic efforts
juxtaposed with
malignant thoughts n'
unchecked exuberance
causing skepticism
troubled dreams n'
fallible endeavors
forever drowning in
faded eclectic lines

In the flashing
revelations of
the mind's
wonderful fire
also lie the
sky borne ideas
triggered from an
astringent intellect
creating a plausible
enterprise with
frenzied enthusiasm
n' gravitas

every fury, pain
qualm n' joy
every high, low
mood n' sigh
that can be
felt with certainty
by the inner
of a human soul
lie within the expanse
of this very
unquiet mind!!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Look Ahead

Skies gray bellowing away
Cries echoing at the deep sea
I'm sinking inside me, yet afloat
Worried whether I will be wiped out

In the cold unknown darkness
With no hand guiding me
My own thoughts are swept apart
Shreded to pieces is a lonely heart

But, I think I see a fading light
Is it an illusion, is it a disguise?
I let the light comfort me
Hold me against my waning will

I surge ahead with all my might
I fight against the raging tide
At the risk of being shattered
I ask - backward or forward

I alone must now decide
And -
I decide to look ahead.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Known Unknown

When our life's paths interwined
It felt then as if we were destined
to be known to each other
and share the journey together

Two souls in search of an anchor
united in friendship splendour
Life in its realm appeared bliss
with sheer love, joy n' caress

Then came the accusation
the heartburn in the relation
the farceness, the gamble
life seemed in shambles

Your gratitude, your pretence
was only an effervesence
and when the charm ended
the charmer, you disdained

Thoughts about you upset n' I sigh
your talks, your words, a blatant lie
I despise myself for holding you so close
that you question my integrity n' called it hoax

The sadness further darkens my mind
known's become unknown, thanks to thine
I shudder to think of the past now -
But, I know I have to learn to live with it somehow.

As long as you are there...

This world has not given me much,
A lot of pain, and many a heart felt sigh,
But, my only comfort off-lately is your gentle touch,
My heart's speaking true, this ain't a lie.

I was scared of the intense dark,
Life's ugly face did bother me,
And my fate left me such a deep mark,
I felt surrendered, I felt lost.

You give me hope for my future,
With your friendship, I see life with no end;
Without your presence, I fear to tread on anything,
It’s on you whom I depend, my friend.

The assurance you are always with me,
Gives me confidence all will go well,
It doesn’t matter what problems arise,
I know you have the wisdom to know what's right.

Not every problem is solved as I wish,
But I trust you know to handle it best,
So I simply move on and put it behind,
I don’t let it cause me any distress.

Without your friendship, I feel lonely,
But together with you, I feel accomplished.
The care you express for each day that I live,
Are much more than I’ll ever need.

As long as you are there to love me my friend, I'll keep living...
As long as you are there to hold my hand, I do not fear falling,
As long as you are there to wipe my tears, I'm not afraid of crying,
As long as you can read my face, I'll not endeavor hiding.

As Long As You Are There - my dearest friend, I'll keep living...

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Psalm of Life

appearances of blues n'
disappearances of mirth
are like the seasons
and one should not be
disturbed by them

the moment you fully surmise
of who and what you are
it's only then that
you begin to build
your own pristine world

in the altitude of your life ~
of whatever you hath
having ebbed away
it will come back to you
with abundant cheers
rippling every bare
inlet, creek n' bay

T'is is the Psalm of Life!!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Turn My Life Around

I don't know where I went wrong
I can't say which turn led me here
I only know that I'm afraid -
I feel worn down and full of fear

So much lies still within my soul-
wanting to burst free to serve at will
I try to find the strength within but I do not
for with every passing moment I find myself standing still

Whenever I have tried to find the way -
through this confusing life without grace
I fall and stumble everywhere
as softly tears run down upon my face

It's been so long since I have been practicing -
the art of being able to endure and give
Though over time I've learned and grown
Now it's time for me to learn to live

When I prayed to Lord, from within my soul -
HE sent you to come into my life
I need to plant my feet on firm ground
O! dear, will you turn my life around?