Rains n’ ME

It's again that time of the year ~
when the usually bright clouds turn murkier,
bringin' in with it the fiery storms
n' the thunderous lightenin' with non-stop rains,
that many of us fear; thanks to the deluge,
that crippled us all, back a few years..!!

BUT it is not always such ~
there are the subtle showers, too,
where every single drop has it's own rhythm
reverberating across the gray sky,
replenishing the thirsty Mother Earth,
to last enough for yet another passin' year..!!

I love the rains, especially the first showers,
when it sends, soft breezes as it's harbinger
n' then as the pitter-patter drops on the parched earth,
it unleashes a pleasant smell that calms my nerves,
sensitisin' every existin' feelin' within me,
while soothin' my soul n' makin' me feel whole..!!

Pauses in Life

Is my quest for eternal peace n' my callin'

a surreal boundless semblance of a mirage?

is it only me who fears on what the comin' holds?

moments keep movin' time after time

n' with it the unknown unfolds;

Life is meant to be an ongoing journey,

with every second, hour n' day addin' to it,

then why am I being forced by time to pause?

Did I happen to grow up too fast

or was it destiny that blew me apart?

as tears stream down my face,

I'm forced by time to pause ~

to seek sanity in my solitude,

askin' myself the necessary question,

why do I keep slippin' into a vortex?

when my intentions are always right..!!

With every moment that passes, it dawns,

that this too shall be lost in the bracken,

O! why does it have to reminisce of the past,

where I lost the realm of my childhood innocence,

that I still yearn in every livin' moment to overcome,

the trapped feelin' within n' set free,

the true child woman, the real ME.

Randomness

as I see, seas of humans ~

walk in endless parades

havin' masked their faces in facades

not knowin' what they are doin'

let alone know what they are talkin'

uncertain of where they are headin'

a classic case of reality checks missin'..!!

when I see them, I feel jolted out of the blues

my mind refuses to wander in their hues

to me they appear weak in their own wills

they think they are forever movin'...

even when their souls are standing still

they behave as if they belong to the knowns

when in true their realms are all unknown..!!

wouldn't life be blissful, if we lived it simple

the way our forefathers generations did for ages

their world was filled n' overflowed in blitheness

but our's is a chaotic world of sheer randomness..!!

Lost in TIME

In the midst of a crowd, I often wonder,

why do I feel the pangs' of bein' a lone wanderer?

can't avoid this melee, it's a part of my daily grind,

to seek my living n' keep pace with the moving times.

I come across placid faces in different places,

endless wave of unseemingly strange faces,

masking my face with mysterious expressions,

such that no one finds out that my soul is barren.

Will I ever be able to be the real ME?

from the worldy ties, will I ever set myself free?

time speaks for itself, is what I'm told ~

have waited long enough but time is yet to unfold,

how many more seasons will I have to pass?

or, will this remain as such till my last..??

Back to being ME...

The journey had been long ~

n' I was feeling lost n' forlorn,

thinking I might not be able to keep afloat,

I tided over to the other side of the shore;

what I saw in that side of the world unnerved me,

such extreme was the vanity n' incongruity,

havin' realized this in it's nascent stage,

I decided to halt no more n' turned around,

before they could destroy me like never before.

Having reached my end ~

it felt like homecoming, for this world is mine,

it belongs to me n' I know the rules of the game here,

not that the perils do not exist but I'm now brave,

I have the will in me to tide over any high or low wave,

in retrospect when I think, it was all about my shaken will

that I'd lost in the midst of sheer chaos n' adversity,

never again will I let my will in me waver,

n' I am NOW firmly back here again forever..!!

Chaos or Calm..??

Stepped in a media world...

where chaos is considered calm

n' buck passes are the norm,

where sanity is not to be sought,

n' integral values remain a naught,

where reality checks fail to exist,

n' abstainities is what the new have to seek,

where a range of emotions keep bursting forth

for no rhyme or reason, making you feel soaked,

warring ego's n' emotions here seem the daily grind

grounds to hold the battle is what one has to find.

I try keep intact apart while they attack,

pretending to be strong when I'm yielding inside,

Defenseless, yes...

I need my own shield, if I have to sustain,

to do a real clean sweep n' set it in place,

I thought I had few souls to rely on,

but in no frigging time, they all let me down.

I cannot align with this fetid realm,

there is so much conflict going on in my mind,

should I leave this world n' start anew,

deep within, I don't want to give up so soon..!!

If chaos is outside, would calmness be within?

Will I be able to set order in this world that is sinned?

I know it ain't easy, for this is a world of bucksin,

but, I will put in my heart out in cent percent,

before I force myself to rethink n' call it THE END.

I will go my own way...

I wanted to go my way, but

my destiny took me the other way..!!

When I halted to make sense of my life ~

I realized, I had let my destiny,

yield me, control me, manoeuvre me,

where though the paths chosen were of my will,

at every breaking point, I was standing still;

enroute a journey that had no destination,

separating myself from my world of dreams,

tears remniscing the memories of a troubled past,

wondering what had I done to deserve such life?

where I was losing myself in a self-destructing world,

and, breathing even when my soul wasn't with me,

O! why was I living, when nothing within me was alive?

When, I heard the whisper within me that urged me ~

to write my own tale, inked with my own will,

I've decided to fight back n' take control of my life,

tread a path that has a destination n' an horizon,

holding onto everything that will keep me moving,

towards the light that will lit the profound dark,

leaving my footprints that will never be erased,

into a world of my own dreams that belong to me,

filled with love, halos and stars, all glowing;

living a life that will be worth my living,

where my heart will be in sync with my soul,

and, I will once again feel, I am whole!

Yes, I will go my own way, and

so, will my destiny follow me the same way..!!