She...

She was crazy

She was funny

She was emotional

She was badass

She was calm

She was chaos

She was unexplainable

as

she was all that she was

and all that she was not!

She was poetry in a world

that was striving

to learn the syllabary.

Observer and I

she sits alone watching a world of her own appearing lost but she is not she wants to understand and know much more which when her 'she' is 'I' she cannot know the order, the light amidst the chaos and fright the unsolicited incite that deflect her might the illusory contours that keep her ashore the obscure metaphors that chain her to her yore the twisted crossroads that debilitate her will the monochromes, the shadows that hold her still it's then when she faces so many ‘why’s’ that she let's the Observer become the I

Mind Matters..!!

As I lie down...
I see a myriad of images 
reeling through my eyes
along with the voices in my head
these demons, they deprave me
of my sleep and any form of peace
I don't blame them for I birthed them
when I went thru' conflicting moments in life
consequentially, the thoughts 
settled deep in the confines of my mind 
and created a level of chaos
that I've never witnessed before
where I am ME and yet not ME..!!

Interlude

I choose to live free but in autonomity
and for this I shall do all that I can
with resolute strength I'll fight away the demons
and with the gifted ability to handle crisis
I'll cross all the barriers enroute
and leave my mark on the paths traveled
I'll sweep and purge my mind from all the cobwebs
to make room for fresh thoughts and opportunities
and pave the way for a new beginning from here on
I'll never look into my past for that's not my way
but the only time I will ever look back 
or dwell in it will be when I want to know 
how far ahead I've come in life..!!

Deep in Stillness

On the outset ~

she appears stoned, numbed

with a blanked out mind

but this isn't the truth

she is deep in stillness

with an unusual calm within

that has embraced her wholly

so much that the chaos outside

can't touch her even remotely

such is the depth n' power

of her profound silence

that has got matured into stillness

she seems to have mastered the art

of controlling all her emotions

such that her true feelings

no longer feel as feelings

yet they are all existing

within the tomb of her soul

where she has laid them all in

akin to her innocent dreams

to take it along with her

when the unsullied virgin

white light will guide her

to shed her body on earth to leave

for heavenly abode, letting her take

with her only her pristine soul..!!

Nature's Fury...

Bombay, July 26, 2005 ~

Her eyes glaring at the non-obeisance

her unrelenting fury on the rising violence

her silent cries ruffled by the aberrance

her radiance filled energy striking at humans

in the form of intensified lightning bolts

as a mark of an end of her endured resilience

scathing everything within her vision

such was her anger that she destroyed lives

submerging the city that never slept

shaking earth as she kept moving on n' on

leaving indelible emotional scars at every turn

devouring the mark left behind in the minds

of humans by the avalanche n' deluge!

The chaos, wrath, fury took awhile to calm

and 'twas in the queer stillness that it dawned

that Nature to be commanded must first be obeyed

and behind the realm of her wisdom n' benevolence

resides a fierce acerbic unmatched super power

which is best when in its soft demeanour form!

To invoke or soothe this Nature's fury, and

Time's wrath - lies totally unto us…

Let’s together ensure that it will not recur..!!

Don't give in...

In this world, you'll find ~
love, hate, bliss, peace, chaos, serenity
don't give in when you find yourself alone
for there's an angel out there watching you
don't give in when you've tried, and
it hasn't worked for you; just be patient
don't give in when you feel emotionless
all your emotions are subdued inside you
don't give in when you're at crossroads
every path has a lot in it's fold to show
don't give in to the stormy nights
instead adjust your sails n' continue
don't give in when you keep stumbling
rise again more determined n' stronger
don't give in to the trying times
rather surge ahead armed with HOPE
don't given in to the dark nights 
for they in actual parlance are tests for us
to see whether we can light the path ahead 
from the inner light of the soul within us..!!

Transient Thoughts...

Transient thoughts

breeze through the mind

with the cold frigid air

brushing across my face

calming my unquiet mind

whispering in my heart

ephemeral emotions of

love, hate, solitude, hope

blending them together

leaving my heart unsteady

frangible n' vulnerable..!!

The dusk to dawn theory

doesn't fit in, somehow

for each day browbeats

the yesterday creating mayhem

n' flits away with a

promise of a better tomorrow

Where then is the today

if it is caught in transition

between both these days..?!

Is it all a fabrication

of an over active mind

or, maybe a simply fictitious

affair with nothing as such

but the yearning of the heart

to seek solace, bliss n' love

in the midst of

chaos n’ profound pain

if not true, then

WHAT IS IT..??

Ambiguous Life

What do I express of life, this life

save, it's nothing but an ambiguous life!!

a moment of chaos, a moment of calm,

a moment of roar, a moment of whisper,

a moment of light, a moment of darkness,

a moment of sense, a moment of conflict,

a moment of love, a moment of hate,

a moment of clamor, a moment of silence,

a moment of pleasure, a mment of pain,

a moment of pretence, a moment of reality,

a moment of grotesque, a moment of beauty,

a moment of depression, a moment of hope,

and, so many more contrariness

all stemming from the life ~

birth in this mysterious universe,

where time flows forever like the river

undeterred in its journey n' forever sparkling

bringing in a new facet with it every new day

that changes a part of us; for good or bad

but who's the master to judge, no one knows..??

life moves on and the cycle continues on n' on

till one fine day when death takes you away

to yet another unfamiliar unknown territory

where you rest in peace from this damnation

setting your spirited soul free for eternity

nothing would change after you're dead n' gone

there would be a momentary pause by the loved ones

till they find their grounds n' surge ahead, and

the universe continues its vicious rigmarole

birthing new souls n' taking them through it all

just like how it did with you while you lasted here

such are the vagaries of life, our ambiguous life..!!

Circle of Life

From the infinitesimal speck of moment,

when we are formed in an act of unision

of two souls embalmed in love

to the time we step in this world

we are protected in the safe haven of a womb

where we grow n' live a carefully nurtured life.

From hereon, in the midst of all expectations, and

boundaries set by our creators n' those around us

we embark on a remarkable journey ~

beginnin' by observin' n' understandin'

everythin' around us thru' our own senses

with the hand holding done by our protectors

obedient at first, rebellious later,

as we mature n' become consciously aware

of all that this universal nature unveils

before us to comprehend n' imbue what we want to.

From the various sojourns that we undertake

we experience the rise to unprecendented heights

or see us fallin' weak wayside, scathed, hurt

reboundin' at times wisened enough, to sail thru'

once again the high n' lows of this mystical life

that graviates us each time into its fold

be it with hope, faith, chaos, conflict,

love, loss, reality, success or gratitude

it's a vicious rigmarole of all elements

that lets us imbibe from the choices we make

in our expedition, to define the "I".

Enroute, most of us, even create a new life

just like how we arrived, givin' it our all

passin' on our refined learnings n' wisdom

yet, lettin' the new life take its own course

just like how we did when we were them

remaining resilient n' prayin' from deep within

that they get the best of everythin'.

Change which is the only constant factor in Life

forever keeps us on our toes to continually discover

hidden facets within us, creatin' new dimensions,

with an unwaverin' will n' extended endurance powers,

which we thought never existed within us,

when we think of givin' it all up when at the edge

only to rediscover new aspects of livin' Life

to the fullest, in a realm of our own

when we've found our true callin' within

before the rhytmic beat of our heart stops beatin'

n' we embrace the invincible, inevitable death.

Just like the beautiful seasons of nature

that follow each other in a circle

Such is Life ~

a path unfoldin' the mysteries

that Life beholds for each one of us

in a circle, The Circle of Life..!!

Chaos or Calm..??

Stepped in a media world...

where chaos is considered calm

n' buck passes are the norm,

where sanity is not to be sought,

n' integral values remain a naught,

where reality checks fail to exist,

n' abstainities is what the new have to seek,

where a range of emotions keep bursting forth

for no rhyme or reason, making you feel soaked,

warring ego's n' emotions here seem the daily grind

grounds to hold the battle is what one has to find.

I try keep intact apart while they attack,

pretending to be strong when I'm yielding inside,

Defenseless, yes...

I need my own shield, if I have to sustain,

to do a real clean sweep n' set it in place,

I thought I had few souls to rely on,

but in no frigging time, they all let me down.

I cannot align with this fetid realm,

there is so much conflict going on in my mind,

should I leave this world n' start anew,

deep within, I don't want to give up so soon..!!

If chaos is outside, would calmness be within?

Will I be able to set order in this world that is sinned?

I know it ain't easy, for this is a world of bucksin,

but, I will put in my heart out in cent percent,

before I force myself to rethink n' call it THE END.

Never at ease

My life's been an expanse of darkness

hurt and agony flowing in boundless

a rampant world, plagued with chaos 

beseeched with voices lacking ethos

as continuing strife, beckoned my life

the vast blackness kept growing inside

as I grew, I lost out on my spark

my will kept fading into the dark

my trapped mind, nobody could see

O! how much I wanted to set it free

I was held up there with nowhere to go

death of a loved one, came as a blow

the innocence, enslaved n' slained

so deeply embedded has been the pain

the fear that lurked deep within

contrived n' usurped my love-in

the uneasiness that set within me

locked my essence for eternity

as the turbulence within refused to cease

I realised I have never been at ease!