The Game of Wanting

 What I want... slips from reach,
A ghost in the dark, a word out of speech.
I stretch out my hands, but all I find,
A space filled with longing, a restless mind.

What I have... I don’t crave,
Leftovers from battles I didn’t save.
They gather dust on a crowded shelf,
Fragments of a life that’s not myself.

What I seek... hides away,
A treasure buried, led astray.
Maps I’ve followed that fade to mist,
Paths that twist and then don’t exist.

What I found... I can’t face,
Truths too sharp, too full of grace.
They cut like glass, they burn like fire,
Testing the edge of my heart’s desire.

What I’ve endured... I didn’t deserve,
Echoes of choices that dip and swerve.
Lessons etched in scars and lines,
Worn through years and stolen time.

How much more elusive, will life dare to be?
A riddle of shadows, never set free.
I’m caught in the chase, in the wanting’s snare,
As life holds its secrets, just out of air.

Feeling Stoned

Eyes half-closed,

the world bleeds slow—

a smear of noise,

a hum too loud.

Thoughts calcify,

stacked stones, heavy

as sleep.

I move but don't;

a puppet, a shadow—

arms draped in fog,

nerves dulled to dust.

Life unfolds,

unasked, unhurried,

like smoke curling,

like ash drifting,

and I—

silent, sunk,

carved in cold stone.

Two by Two: Her Map of Hearts

She sketches grids, a girl alone,
Mapping love in lines and tone.
Two by two, she starts to see
How hearts can part by destiny.

Top left: sparks, intense and bright,
Where lovers burn like stars at night.
Quick to catch, yet soon to fade—
A fleeting flame, a lesson made.

Below, a quiet box she keeps,
Where kindness rests and comfort sleeps.
Here lie friends who know her well,
An enduring, magic spell.

To one side, excitement’s thrill,
The dizzy pull, the fleeting fill.
Yet shifting to a steady ground,
Where trust and faith are truly found.

In grids and squares, she seeks to chart
The lines that shape her heart and art.
Two by two, she makes her start—
To learn love's map and know her heart.

An End

In life, one truth we cannot bend,
Death—the certain, final end.
A sudden jolt, a bitter sting,
When news of loss begins to ring.

A life well-lived, with dreams pursued,
A journey long, with memories imbued.
Steps taken, miles crossed,
But what remains when life is lost?

Some foresee their final breath,
Others meet an unseen death.
What of the dreams that never soared,
Or the words unsaid, forever stored?

Do they linger, these unfinished tales,
In the echoes where the spirit sails?
Is there a world beyond our sight,
Where souls observe their final flight?

I ponder as I gaze afar,
Reflecting on this endless scar.
For in the end, we all must see,
The mystery of death’s decree.

Aloha

In life's grand story, a companion's grace,
Aloha bridges years, finding its rightful place.
Through wrinkles of time and stories they have seen,
Aloha's thread weaves connections between.

A screen can't obscure the warmth of their smiles,
Aloha speaks softly across the miles.
Venerable wisdom, a treasure to share,
Aloha listens, shows it deeply cares.

In heart-to-heart whispers, aloha takes flight,
Guiding their words through day and through night.
Amidst a span of years, a bond has been found,
Aloha's sweet symphony, love's ageless sound.

With every exchange, their spirits align,
Aloha, a friend in a world so benign.
In the chapters of life, stitched by and by,
Aloha, a constant as time drifts on by.

Ganbaru

trials
hardships
tragedies
strife|
are a part of every life

do not succumb to the sorrows
do not yield to the blows
you have the incredible strength
within YOU
you only didn't know
tough times are not meant to last
you need to tough them out
with a tenacity
so perseverant
that you will stand tall, and
see through its end

GANBARU
be firm
do not give-in
do it more than your best, and
you will make it through everything.

Unowned

not long ago, on a dark night
when the winds breathed wild
I had a momentary escapade
from my onerous life

my misty mind wandered
in a soft floating train
on a timeless journey
of the vast domain
O! what a vision it held for me
it was blissful enchanting reverie
the brilliance of the suns
the luminous moons
the ethereal oceans
all had me swooned

the secrets of the universe
I was determined to find
till a deafening roar
awoke my conscious mind

in an inexorable sweep
the trajectory was blown
a mirage, it was
it could never be owned

Nostalgia

here I am
and, there
wondering...

over the moments of yonder
intersected in mind
that bring back memories
some making sense
some irrelevant
learnings, unlearnt
that were relearnt
as the journey
stumbled through
it's twists and turns
as new souls connected
and, loved ones died
emotions crocheted
into a beguiled mesh
creating a mystical story
of a heart and mind
that has bled with tears
blossomed in love, and
basked in the glory of the light

here I am
and, there...

Ignis Aurum Probat

here and there, in reality and dreams
lay her life, pristine and threadbare
altering with the seasons of time
as she moved on time after time after time

the eloquence of her simplicity
stood out amidst the guiled masks
masquerading everywhere
undeterred she remained
as she paved through
the complexities, trials and
tribulations that inquisitioned
her fortitude in her quest
she kept combing through the labyrinth
through signs known and unknown
to seek the eternal truth
her endurance absolute

Ignis aurum probat
refined after being tested in fire
her sacred sanctity unscathed
she radiated her inner purified light

ENOUGH.

years of muted suffering
had quelled her integrity, and
smothered her peace of mind
she dreaded losing out on relations
she feared the consequences
so she did what she thought
was the inevitable
and yielded to the circumstances
till an awakening call from within
in the quietness of the nights
questioned her of her being
and existing life
was this who she wanted to be
could she identify with her identity
it took her long
to come up with the answer
it was a decisive NO
she mustered every ounce
of the courage left within her
to stand-up and say
ENOUGH. I will tolerate no more.

... and, thus she blossomed from within

Black O' White

a tabula rasa canvas
of pure white
heralding new beginnings
gets interspersed
with stark silhouettes
drawn in black
as we move on
with the rhythm of life

while white reflects fullness
black reflects emptiness
both exemplify the extremes
of the dispersion of colors
as they move through the prism
in tandem with the path
we traverse from life to death
tracing the contours of our breath

Gone too Soon!

your presence in our lives
was like a beacon of light
you were so full of life 

you were gone too soon, my dearest dad
you were gone too soon for us 

the sudden bend in the road
was exacting but it never stuck us
that soon we would be left mourning
the absence of the only man
who meant the world to us
(he still does)

we miss your sunshine smile
we yearn to hear you laugh
we keep searching for you
all the while
to complete what was left
incomplete between us

though it has been decades
since that fateful moment
that stripped you from our lives
we were never prepared for you to go
you were brutally taken away from us

you were gone too soon, my dearest dad
you were gone too soon for us

Time flies by

There is a saying that goes
While we are postponing
life speeds by...

In our quest
to fulfill our dreams
we tend to focus
only on the mainstream
forgetting all the relations
that we made along the way
not bothering to make that call
or write that mail
to check about their well-being
to know that they are fine
we keep saying to ourselves
that soon we will find that time.

But, time and tide wait for no man.

The distraught flickering souls
who waited for us in despair
hoping that someday
we would find the time to spare
are one fine day mortalized
even before we realize
the importance of how much
they needed us in their lives.

So, walk that extra mile, and
give that friendly smile
profess how much you love
express how much you care
for there is wisdom in the saying
this ain't a lie -
While you keep postponing
Time flies by...
Yes. Time flies by.
le temps passe vite

disconnect-to-reconnect

when the thoughts frighten and become fears
disconnect-to-reconnect

when the emotions overwhelm and become tears
disconnect-to-reconnect

when the grays darken and become blues
disconnect-to-reconnect

when the highs spiral and become lows
disconnect-to-reconnect

at every twist and every turn
when trials cause you heartburn
when the heart becomes indecisive
and, answers are all you seek

disconnect from your realm
reconnect with your soul 

your mind will feel empowered
and, your faith will be restored

Disconnect to Reconnect

consumed by the challenges
of everyday life
I did not realize
when time flew by

the dreams of the
once virginal mind
were long replaced
by a never ending need
to be a powerhouse
that provided a decent
life for loved ones
every time I tried
to make the ends meet
the ends only seemed
further distanced
the demands kept growing
gnawing me within
creating a chasm
between what I thought
would be me and my life
it went on and on
from days to months to years
till I asphyxiated
in my own realm
I could no longer endure
so, I paused

INTERLUDE

the pause worked
for all that was needed was
to disconnect from the outer world
to reconnect with my inner self
and, life moved on...

Et sic incipit...

after a year of stress
we ended with a strain
the carefree life we once lived
we will never find it again

the year seemed long, but
it left us strong
through every hit and fall
we emerged out tall
the normal way of living
had to be redefined
a new normal has now been
ingrained in our mind
we no longer fear
practicality is our gear
the statistics are only numbers
they no more rip us asunder

with hope as our armor, and
belief restored
we move in confident strides
having faith in the guiding light 

et sic incipit
and, so it begins...

Sehnsucht

carefree life
raw innocence
unconditional love
dad's presence
real relations
recherchéd affections

freedom to live
in oneness with nature
without burning herself
for a secure future

the silent sighs exuded
her yearnings profound
each musing remained
a sehnsucht so long...

Joy

We often lament about

what life does not offer us

but in reality

it is we

who do not appreciate

the little joys

that forever lasts!

life has so many things

to be grateful for ~

the joy of breathing

the joy of seeing

the joy of smelling

the joy of hearing

the joy of feeling

the joy of loving

the joy of caring

the joy of giving

the joy of living

as nature's

most wonderful, and

powerful being!

The Game Is Set...

a ravaged heart
beautiful and violent
engulfed in a raging fire
pining, craving and longing
for her elegy to be heard
but there is no one around

the game is set, but
she is not ready...

she has to fight
the fears gripping her
the demons tormenting her
weave the torn fabric 
heal the scalds, while 
letting the scars be

the game is set, now
she is poised...

to take controls
fortified with faith
armed with hope
her heart is ready
ready to blossom
ready to fly
ready to face 
the challenges of life

the game is set, and 
so is she

Tabula Rasa

Memories vivid yet distant
of how colors turned gray
in the contours
of her convoluted mind
over the years
it seemed like
there could be nothing more
to the black hole like darkness
that was shrouding her vision
gripping her imagery
she sat there lost
in the qualms
of her fragmented life

Interlude

She could not
let this continue
it had to stop
for she was breathing
she was alive, and
deep within she knew
it was temporal
she had to move on
in life

Interlude

She woke up one day
set her slate clean
like the tabula rasa, and
edged forward
propelled with hope
towards the horizon
ready to create
new imprints
of the rest of her life